The Journey

For today’s card I received the ‘Eight of Cups’. At first I don’t know what to make of this card. I have been getting it often so there has to be some sort of deeper meaning than the negative sounding words of “material gain abandoned”. Overall this seems to be a card of moving on.

Even if you have worked for a lot and have gained much, there comes a time when you must let it all go and just move on. This card can represent both external and internal change, but I see it’s message personally as pointing more toward the internal.

The night before last, I had a dream that I was fighting with myself (yes, physically in a fight with myself!) over something that had to do with my old job which was a dead-end job in an office where I was not happy. In the dream I was able to overcome myself and gain the upper-hand, but when I woke up I knew that this was some sort of sign that I needed to move on past this ‘old’ life and into my new one. This dream reflected an internal struggle that I was having on a sub-conscious level; between the old self and the new self that I was trying to become.

It is not easy to move forward sometimes, even if you really want to because your body and more importantly, your mind, will still be ‘stuck’ so to speak in the old patterns that your sub-conscious is still acting out. The journey is especially hard to obtain when it’s value is high or when the searching and direction being sought is of a spiritual nature. Just imagine how hard it is to abandon something physical that you have worked hard on, not think about how this is done on a massive, all encompassing scale when you proceed on a spiritual quest. Getting this card at a point in life when I am trying to move forward and beyond the old is actually a good sign.

I see this card as being a voluntary version of the forced energy of change found in ‘The Tower’. With the tower, material things are taken away from you in a cataclysm, whereas with the eight of cups, the energy is solemn but the ‘loss’ is voluntary. Nothing is forcing this man to leave his work behind. This is a more powerful card spiritually because it shows a willingness to accept material losses in order to continue on a spiritual journey. There is a recognition here that the material has little value when it is compared with the value of the spiritual. When the mind concerns itself with spiritual matters, the material world melts away and one sees that there was nothing there of value to begin with. The material value is just an illusion.

This card also shows that this is just the beginning of the journey. Often, it is easy for me to get caught up in the day to day dealings and to imagine to myself that I am progressing faster than I really am, and that I have gone farther than I really have. This card is much like ‘The Fool’ in this case, just starting to commence the journey whereas a card like ‘The World’ or a number 10 card would show the nearing towards, or the straight completion of a journey.

It is important to keep in mind that I am not taking any shortcuts because in the end they will get you nowhere. The journey I am on is a long one and I am merely at the mercy of the goal of the universe. Nothing more nothing less. I am not a part of the whole, but the whole itself. All things shall be love to me, but it will take time to get to the truth, to gain wisdom out of knowledge. The last thing to remind myself is not to give up hope. Do not abandon your progress in spiritual matters, but leave behind all of the material boons. Do not lose hope for in time all goals are certain to be reached!

Day-dreaming

Sometimes I find that I enjoy just sitting here and thinking. I’ve been doing it for a long time, as long as I can remember in-fact. Back when I was in grade school, around third or fourth grade, I remember it was called ‘day-dreaming’. The first time I heard that word, it was being applied to me and what I was doing which was staring off out a windows and thinking. It sounded like a magical word. I was always fascinated by dreams and this sounded to me like a way to make dreams come to me in the day time, while I was awake. Of course day-dreaming does not go that far in to the fantasy, but it can cause you to loose touch with events that are going on around you. Maybe I had taken up day-dreaming as an escape from what I saw as an oppressive and demanding world.

To this day I still day-dream. Just before I started writing this I was doing it, the act of which lead me to write about the fact and ponder it a little more. There is just something nice about day-dreaming. About sitting there with your thoughts and just letting them come to the forefront of your mind. The relaxation can go both ways. I can calm myself down by staring at a single point or object and focusing on it. I have been doing that since I was a child as a way of escaping situations that where overwhelming to me. This happened a lot, so I did it a lot.

Then there is the other way day-dreaming can correlate with relaxation. When I am feeling relaxed and free, I often drift into a day dream state where I let my thoughts wander and go where they will. It is a great past time that I cherish and hold as part of who I am. I have been day-dreaming so much over the course of my life that I feel I have done more in my mind that I have in the real world. No idea if that is a good or bad things but it has to be at least somewhat true.

There was one time, when I was on a baseball team as a child, where we where running laps around a field. I was having a tough time that day with feeling like I was part of the team. In my mind everyone was very different than me and I always felt that they didn’t like me. So we are running and I am thinking of what I would rather be doing at that time. During the 90’s a very popular game was Sim City and I was playing it religiously. In my mind I was still there at the computer building my city. I spent the majority of the run thinking not about what I was doing, but literally building a city in my head. That, to me, was much funner than running and even though I was doing one thing physically, I was doing another, much funner thing in my mind.

The moments just before sleep are also one of my favorite times to just think. I will be lying there in bed, my wife asleep next to me, and I will just think about things for maybe an hour or so. Sometimes I will try my best to run back everything I did that day in chronological order. Seeing if I could pull up from memory each thing that I did and thought. Heard and smelled. I am often surprised at how hard it can be to think of all the things that you did in a day without feeling that I am missing large chunks of my day. Those chunks must be the parts where I was day-dreaming throughout the day!

I do think that sleep is a form of focused thought no different from the more ‘forced’ or induced focus that happens when day-dreaming. The only difference is that you have reverted back to a more true state, that of observer only. During a dream you are still consciously thinking of things, but it seems that you are just watching things play out. Without the control from your conscious thought to guide a dream, you can end up with some very strange connections and events happening in dreams.

I dream very often, I would say pretty much every night. I don’t always recall all of my dreams even if I knew that I dreamed that night. Most of the dreams that I can recall are the ones that I have just moments before I wake up. When I am in a halfway place between dreaming and sleeping. Those are the dreams that have the most impact on me. I believe that dreams are very important to understanding yourself and can reveal many things about yourself to yourself.

In the same way that dreams can tell you about yourself, day-dreaming can also reveal to you aspects of your unconscious that you otherwise would not have revealed. If you day-dream with this intention, it no longer becomes the unguided and frowned upon ‘day-dreaming’ of youth. Instead it becomes something called meditation. The conscious focus of thought on a certain object or form. If you can do this with your mind, you can discover all of the knowledge that is in this world. It truly is a very powerful tool that we all have within us.

To frown upon a child who day-dreams is wrong. Instead, that child should be fostered to develop his/her talent. For if the child can start from an early age, controlling his/her thoughts and turning day-dreaming into focus and meditation. Then a great gift of love and truth can be given to the child which. If children can discover their true-selves at an early age, or even start the journey itself at an early age; society and culture will reap the rewards in the future.

For those of us who are older, lets us try and practice day-dreaming a little every day in order that it may eventually develop into intense meditation. Anyone can do this!